Sunday, December 13, 2009

Questions about children's jealousy

When your family there is a second child, automatically raises the question of child jealousy. Regardless of how you will be fair and generous in their parents' feelings, your children will be competing with each other for your attention and love.

And this rivalry, as a rule, takes the most brutal and vulgar forms: children are quarreling, fighting, miscall and tease each other, snitch. What to do?



Before birth


Prepare the child for the birth of her brother. Tell him about the future of birth in about two or three months before the baby. Previously, it is not necessary, because the child may become restless, awaiting the imminent birth. And for three months he was able to see an explanation of your stomach, and a future brother or sister will not be for him something abstract, it can even feel the tremors of their feet.



Allow your child to play in the decorator. Let him help you beat the children's room, choose furniture and other accessories. If you plan to change the usual course of his life (move it to another bedroom, for example, or moved from the baby crib to adult bed), do it at least a couple of months before the birth of the youngest child to the senior not felt slighted.
Tell us about what happens while you're in the hospital. Approximately two weeks before giving birth, start to prepare your child for the upcoming absence. Discuss all organizational issues as possible, it is clear, try to dispel any fears and doubts.

Even if you're in the hospital a couple of days, your child will probably be concerned about those changes.

If it is going to stay with a relative, friend or babysitter, you can ask that person to spend the night in your house for one to two weeks before the birth. If possible, let your child comes to hospital after the birth of her brother, so he was beginning to feel a significant part of your extended family.



After birth


Immediately draws the child to care for the baby. When you bathe the baby, he can hold towels or soap to help stem the child.

When you go for a walk, give him a push wheelchair. You can even give the baby gently in his arms to his elder brother, only to watch that. By connecting a child to care for a newborn, you will awaken in him the rudiments of responsibility towards his brother or sister, as well as give him feel proud of the fact that he is caring for an infant.
Spend an older child enough "mother's" time. For your child's natural to feel jealous. Suddenly he is forced to share you with someone who requires a huge proportion of your time and attention. Spend some time each day doing something just with him, even if it's just a few minutes of drawing or playing dice. If your baby falls asleep in the evening before the older child, select an hour or two for the "baby time" and use it for joint reading, games or look at family albums.



Prevent aggression. Young children often express their feelings in action, but because it is likely that the elder brother in an emotional outburst can throw something in the younger child, or even hit him. Be attentive to the behavior of an older child, and seeing in it the signs of aggressive behavior, try to extinguish these negative emotions. If he still hit his younger brother, in any case do not humiliate him and punish him physically - such actions may make him later to take revenge on the baby. Just tell me that his behavior is unacceptable. Do not encourage competition.



Resist the temptation to compare your children. The classic "Why can not you be like your sister?" Very hurt feelings. Instead of separately emphasize the advantages of each of the children, praise and encourage them both, whenever possible: "Today you're both playing great football!"
Teach them to independently resolve conflicts. As your kids get older you have to teach them as much as possible to decide their own conflicts. For young children it can mean to disperse to different corners of the room and play one by one, if they can not stop bickering over toys. Do not take a long time, as they soskuchatsya at each other or they will be curious what the other. Do not forget to praise your child whenever they decide conflicts.



Teach them to work together. Look for opportunities to create situations that require cooperation - will approach any activity with a common purpose. For example, they can together remove their toys. And when your youngest child needs help - to put on a sweater or get a favorite book, your older child will always be able to help.
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Sunday, November 22, 2009

Sex: Gad Fruits

In our enlightened times, few people know that medieval knights chose their brides on the basis of their "fruit preferences" - exhibited in front of the beautiful maidens dishes with a variety of fruit, and then carefully observed what devoured the fruits of their possible darling.



Today this exotic tradition has faded into oblivion.

However, as it turned out, in vain: American psychologist Ellen Kenny, having studied the fruit tastes of modern women, but also developed a typology of their characters.

1. If it goes to the apples, then this girl is firm, just as adorable and her fetus.
She does not like romance, is alien to any experiments (including in bed), but reliable and thoroughly.

2. A woman who had a weakness for pears, seductive, very erotic, like a juicy pulp, and oval shape of the mature fruit.

It is usually cast a spell of his cavalier irresistible charm, she wants to be coddled and treated her like a precious toy or even more precious vessel.

However, it is often touchy and long keeps tracks of resentment in his loving heart.
3. Lover of bananas produced a strong impression on men (largely due to the fact that consciously or unconsciously, they often "suspect" propensity for oral sex), but they have an inordinate sensitivity to any criticism, because under the "rind" of the fruit lies soft, sensitive and vulnerable person.

That's why fans of "rough sex" is unlikely to fit like the fairer sex.
4. The motto of the women who prefer grapes - "I want to pleasure!" He brings joy to feel how they burst in your mouth tender fruits of these "figs.

They are often easily ready to share his bed with another, the loneliness of their frightening, and at such moments they seek solace in drink from so beloved of their grapes.

5. To a lesser extent, are drawn to pleasure and women - a fan of strawberries. They usually have a weakness not only for comfort, but also to show off, have a certain charm that attracted to him many admirers.

6. But the women - fans of oranges as mysterious as closed in itself. The man is very difficult to penetrate into their souls. They are usually modest and carefully protect themselves not only from the brash fans, but on the whole external world thick skinned.

If someone you are lucky, and he can still reach the "core" those who like oranges, they may discover that in essence it is often intelligent, capable of a good joke and, in general, it beats a creative streak.

Such women are usually not immediately disclosed, in intimate relationships, but they are mostly interested in precisely this increasingly opening its novelty.

Flirting Technique

To a man like your forms should be 90-60-90 - all this slander! You just need your charming smile and a few hints in the technique flirta.Osnovnoe what to look out for: eye contact, smile, naturalness, attention and a couple of tricks, which can be read below.


1. Eye contact

Keep eye contact to the person with whom you are flirting for at least seven seconds, and then smile and turn away. Then, mysteriously, look at him and turn away. Repeat this simple action about two times for 10 minutes. And now you do not worry. Your object is already aware that you are flirting with him, and eye contact will only emphasize the interest in his person.
2. Smile!
Perhaps the smile is a very powerful tool in engineering flirtation. Psychologists and experts agree that a smile - one of the most important things that make you really attractive.

A smile is a sign that you are happy to be here and see the people around you. Smile - a sign of friendship around the world.
3. Be yourself!

Do not try to pretend to be who you are. The object of your desire will soon feel the falsehood and hypocrisy. Also, if your relationship will develop successfully, you have to wear this mask, always!
4. Keep his mind

If you already have a conversation, use our recommendations to keep the attention of your interlocutor. First, smile and support the visual contact with the interlocutor. Listen carefully what he says. What could be more pleased that you listens so carefully and so caught up in conversation!

The fact that you are careful listeners to show, for example, nodding his head. There are very important factors such as a smile and laughter, this is - the fastest and easiest way to get close to man. Another effective technique is flirting - a light touch: hand or shoulder to the elbow.
5. Gentle slope

One of the most important moments in the technology of flirtation - the location of the head. Slight nod in the direction of the head looks very attractive! And what about the mysterious looking over her shoulder? This asymmetry will focus showing a large bend your neck and you'll still maintain visual contact. Because of the shoulder look will look sexy! Show your elected that he is worthy of your sight, even if fleeting.
6. Preen their feathers

We look sexually attractive when we strokes our hair or clothes, corrects its makeup. Try brushing your feathers with a smile.

His promise "to" and your disappointment "after"

This problem is as eternal as the world. In the beginning (or should we only think?), Love is like a rainbow of many colors - so bright and unusually everything that happens with the two lovers. What unimaginable variety of views, smiles, gestures, movements! Burn, like fire or a cooling like ice.

Touches are hidden moderate desires and languor, you are tense, as a string, and responds to the lightest, barely perceptible movement. I like honey pouring into the ears of those banal (or not) and the eternal words - I love you, I'll give you this star. And the enthusiasm of the first months of proximity, joint plans for the future, a kaleidoscope of emotions. It attracts and nullifies all the petty everyday problems. He gave me this star! <

There is a belief that in six months, love, passion - alas - is held. Is this true? It is hard to imagine that love (which, as you know, do not watch the clock), just six months to the day, hour to hour, suddenly realize - everything! Passed! Of course - no. Love, as a synonym of dazzling passes really quickly and emerges a deeper and stronger chuvs (or not born) - love. And the same one presented to the star can be obtained only from the hands of a loved one.

Promised, lust. This star is in the life of every woman. We are waiting for her since childhood - reading the tales of beautiful princesses and no less handsome prince on white horses. We are waiting, looking at the perfect gentleman with the screen "Love Story". We are waiting, each time looking into the eyes of men - do you? Are waiting. And sometimes we get. But more often, more often it happens that the very bright, very airy, inimitable sense of novelty, freedom, intoxication passes. I come everyday.

"I'll give you this star ...", say the well-known cartoon characters. The lady delivered under pressure, falling into the arms of the lucky winner and ... notorious cleaning pots! On Mondays, get up for work, washing, caring for children. And with all this, wants to remain the woman who gave a star. It was for that?

But man, is already convinced that his woman will not go anywhere, do not want any more rainbows. He was comfortable. He is calm, satiated. It is no longer interested in the long battle, because there is a legal spouse and the marital debt. What battle?

It would be unfair to accuse without proof of all men, they say, Behold, unfeeling bastards, not romantic and so on. There are others. But now it is not about them. And do not about men. And women.

The sexual nature of women is different. Man is able to inflame the type of open-work stockings, a woman is in the form of a naked man's legs are unlikely to experience at least a fleeting feeling of ecstasy. A rare woman, standing at the sink with a pile of dishes, is able to assess the advances of her husband, as though affectionate and gentle he was. It is annoying. And nothing but the desire to give a cloth over his face, does not arise. It is unlikely that will be assessed the same steps on Monday morning, or after a sleepless night with the baby in the evening after work, when you need to cook dinner (and want to unwind on the couch and relax). Can enumerate indefinitely. It is easier to give examples.

First example.

Katya and Sasha met 7 years ago. Everything was romantic and beautiful. Dating, flowers, romance. Beautiful wedding. Lucky Kate in a white dress.

They wanted a child. Waited two years before everything happened, and has been born of their firstborn. And just a year and a half and a daughter. Katya much better, went to work in an endless decree. At home she was alone, but with young children is difficult. Sasha did not help. He had his passions - football with friends on weekends, interesting work, but at night he wanted to rest and he asked Katya to calm children. Kate was silent. Although it was unpleasant and hard to hear it from a loved one. And a shame that her work (and because domestic work and child care - work without days off and holidays) do not appreciate, do not help.

And as it went on there their evening for two - Sasha irritated at the cries of children, and Kate tried to reassure them, Katya has forgotten the last time the two of them went to visit, went to the restaurant, when Sasha gave her flowers just so, and not duty yellow line on the eighth of March and a bouquet on his birthday. And making love? First Sasha demanded attention. But Katya, tired during the day, would not have anything. It may be, and would like to, but just to talk, hug.

And after a while Sasha began talking about what he healthy young man, he wanted sex. Why he refuses Katya?

And how to explain to him? The truth is always very difficult. While it is true and obvious - she is tired. She feels unwanted and abandoned. And he does not notice and do not want to see. And the question arises. And what become of the bright clear feeling that was seven years ago? Why is their love has become a routine? And there's the old thrill.
Only pans. No more stars.



Second example.

Yulia and Yura.
He believed that the food is bad warm up, so Julia was preparing him three times a day. Then he decided to become a vegetarian and Julia stopped eating meat, so as not to irritate. He said - throw it work, although Julia has long dreamed of becoming an interpreter, she studied for a long time, looking for a good place. But Yura decided - it's time to have a baby. Birth. Julia brought up mainly because Jura worked hard. But on weekends he tried to help.

But Julia was not happy. At home she was bored. Her irritated imperiousness husband. And increasingly she avoided intimacy with him. He was angry. Then he moved away and tried to arrange a romantic evening in front of sex - shooting at a restaurant table, buying expensive gifts. But the feeling naigrannosti, pressure, unnatural relations depressed. What had become of spontaneity? Is prepared to have sex as a performance? But Julia was silent. Eventually she realized that it's easier. Simply not to say anything and clenching his teeth to endure her husband's affection, then get up, take a shower and sleep in separate beds. And somewhere, deep in their hearts to save a naive faith in the very star ...

The list of examples could continue. But finding one. Women feel powerless and helpless victims. They are silent where it is necessary to speak. After a number is not someone else, but loved people. And they turn in on themselves, rather than sit at the negotiating table. Discuss what, how and why. And you can not bring the issue to the extreme, when one Turp (this is terrible in itself an insult to love, which brings together a man and woman), while the other pretends not to notice or not notice because of spiritual blindness?

Now is not the Middle Ages and women are not powerless puppets. It should look at the problem is not marred by all the unnecessary Dostoevskianism not immersing themselves and the world in utter darkness of despair. Never give up! - Said the frog in its beak a stork and began choking him.

Of course, no need to strangle anyone. Just always have to remember that love and relationships, intimacy, trust, do not appear by themselves. True love is not blind. And love is different from the very fact that love does not notice the flaws, and love them all know and accept. Reluctance proximity - wake-up call. This is a signal - it is time to understand itself, and, most importantly, talk with loved ones. Do not be shy. In this situation, it is criminal.

Different women, different problems. But try to look at everything from the outside. You want to love and be loved, you want romance in a relationship you want to be noticed, gave flowers, give time, take care. Imagine that and men (oh, horror!) Want the same. Care, attention, love and, of course, intimacy. Without it is impossible. Did you many years or you are enrolled in the party antiseksualo (such party is also available), or have decided to spend my life in a monastery. And if it could not be, then we have to think how to fix what you have destroyed their own hands.

Ask yourself the question - what would happen if I lose it? And you will lose it, if you refuse to love. There exists a lot of women who are happy to "share the bed with your husband. The next question you must ask yourself - why are you silent?

For fear of offending? This is an unjustified fear, because it's much more painful will be your husband, when he realizes that you are pretending. Or are you afraid that you will not understand? And you try, men too are endowed with intelligence and soul. After all, most poets were men. Do not forget it.

Assemble and start negotiations. Tell us about all their problems and feelings about everything, what you think. If you think that it is rude in bed - say so. Do not hide anything. To avoid embarrassment, think about children whose parents are often abused and say they are not the most pleasant thing for a child to know what is good and what is bad. And do not do so in order to hurt the child, but because they love it. It is with this need to start razgovo

Believe me, men are not animals, and do not lack emotions. If you're honest, the answer will be frank with you. And it is quite likely that you will discover each other anew. Perhaps you did not know that your man dissatisfied with the work, because it takes away his time that he would like to dedicate to you? But the work because they do not want to deprive you. And on the small, but important for every woman forgets the signs of attention because in a hurry to come home early? And he wants you, not because all men are rough males, and in general understand nothing in a thin woman's soul, but because you still have likes and finds attractive. Maybe is too often, but it was great!

Teach him to love you, tell him about his desires. Reminds him of himself, ask for a gift "something". Perhaps there is not enough spontaneity and romanticism, but do not think only about themselves, about their troubles and problems. He has them too. And remember, true love gives all, without demanding anything in return.

Friday, September 18, 2009

When a child's teething

When it happens?

This little test. through which all children. The process begins even before you see the first teeth. Usually, they begin to be cut in 4-7 months. First, there are 2 front lower incisors. After a month or two - 4 upper incisors, and a month later - the other 2 lower incisors. Then there are the first molars, and after them - canines. But this is only a general order. Dates appearance of teeth in children may vary considerably.

How to determine that a child teething?

When a child's teething, he is experiencing some discomfort. Here are some signs:

* Weeping
* A small increase in temperature (not above 38 °)
* Drooling (more than usual)
* Irritability
* The child is bitten and dragged into his mouth all of which can reach up
* Irritation of the gums, increased sensitivity to them in certain places

How to facilitate the child's condition?

Try to hug the child often and keep it on hand. To reduce discomfort, which is experiencing a baby, you will also help the following methods:

* Wash and dry your hands. Then, one finger gently massage your baby's gums.
* Many children enjoy special ring of hard rubber, they are happy to bite them during teething. (Not recommended to put these rings in the refrigerator, because they can harden and break a child's mouth).
* Some children like to chew soaked in cool water terry cloth.
* Cool, soft foods, such as applesauce or yogurt,'ll love our child, if he has already moved to this writing, and facilitate his condition while teething.

Do I need to brush your teeth a child?

If the child's teeth have appeared, they must be kept clean:

* With the help of gauze cloth, wipe the child's teeth after meals and before bedtime.
* Gently brush your teeth with a soft infant toothbrush.
* Do not let your child sleep with a bottle in his mouth.
Rx Michigan

Calendar of child

All parents are eagerly awaiting the moments when a child says the first word or the first step. These important milestones have reported on the development of the little man. Parents should carefully monitor the proper growth of the child, if needed in time to be able to intervene and help.

It is important to remember that children reach certain stages of development at different times. The exact dates can not be established.

For example, the first steps. On average, children begin to walk at 13 months, but the deviations are possible in any direction. The child can go and at 9 months and 1.5 years. Usually, if a baby in 1 year 3 months still does not go, do not worry about it.

Nevertheless, the need to closely monitor the child. Watch its development is as important as the time for him to do grafting.

Who can help?

Parents should not rely only on their own experience. Each child must be a physician (usually a district pediatrician), who knows the child and can tell the deviations in its development.

We know that parents, through their actions may affect the development of the child. For example, at present it is believed that the newborn should sleep on their backs to avoid sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). However, due to the fact that children spend less time lying on his stomach, he starts to roll over later.

Preterm infants develop a little slower than their peers. For them, the calendar of development to do the amendment. The age of these children are not counted from the moment of birth, and the approximate date when they were supposed to be born. A premature baby born 2 months prematurely, will do what the calendar of development can make the usual 3-month children, only 5 months.

If you suspect that the delay in the development of the baby, parents should seek medical attention. There are modern methods of correction for children with delays in development.

The most effective early intervention (in the first six months of life, or even from the very birth of the child). It includes physiotherapy procedures and exercises to develop speech and motor skills.

Early diagnosis and correction of a child with delays in development - a huge step forward. This helps to avoid problems at school.

At that pay attention to?

Child development has not stopped for a moment and becomes noticeable in the first days after birth. Newborn may be slightly lift the crown, to respond to sound, to see and watch the eyes of individuals. Over time, these skills become more and more. Here's a sample calendar of baby:

1 month

At this age a child should be able to lift head and chest from a prone position on his stomach, watching the moving objects, smiling in response to the voices of parents and imitate the expression on their faces. Possible signs of developmental delay - lack of response to loud sounds, smiles, and interest in their arms and legs.

3 months

At this age a child should be able to lift head and chest from a prone position on his stomach, watching the moving objects, smiling in response to the voices of parents and imitate the expression on their faces. Possible signs of developmental delay - lack of response to loud sounds, smiles, and interest in their arms and legs.

4 months

Child must be able to roll over from stomach to back. This is a great achievement in the development of motor skills. Reupload on the tummy is useful for the development of power arms and chest muscles.

6-8 months

At this age, added the ability to sit independently and tumble from the back of the stomach. The child begins to play individual sounds, babble and explore new things with his hands and mouth. Possible signs of developmental delays - lack of laughter, of interest to other people and attempts to reach an object with only one hand.

9-11 months

At this age, children begin to crawl and take objects with thumb and forefinger. This is an important indicator of development of motor skills.

1 year

By this age many children are able to move along the wall or furniture, there are hands and find hidden objects, but also understand the word no. If the child is not crawling, not points the finger at things and can not stand even with the support of parents, should contact a pediatrician.

18 months

This is an important stage of social development. By 18 months children are usually able to express their basic needs and are waiting for a response to their requests. At this age, the most important thing - to encourage the child.

2 years

By 2 years children should be able to walk, kick a ball, scribble, to speak single words and short phrases, and follow the simple instructions. If a child says at least 15 words and does not use the phrase, consisting of 2 words, a delay of development. In families where the parents speak different languages, children are lagging behind in language development for about 6 months. To avoid problems with the development of recommended talking with the baby in one language only.

In most books on child rearing is a more detailed calendar of development.
Rx Pennsylvania

Artificial feeding

Pediatricians recommend that the first six months after birth, breast feed, but it is not always possible. Alternative is to bottle-feeding - feeding baby formula from a bottle. If you feed a child this way, you have to take some important decisions.

What mixture to use?

The child can not properly digest cow's milk, so it does not replace a mother's milk. Breastfeed your baby special feeds. But first, consult a physician because There are different kinds of mixtures.

* Mixtures based on milk - the most common. For artificial feeding their choice in 80% of cases. These mixtures are made from cow's milk, processed in such a way that it becomes a safe and useful for the child. Typically, a mixture enriched with vitamins and microelements, in particular, they added iron.
* Mixtures of soy-based - Some of the children is allergic to milk, or their stomach can not digest lactose, which is contained in milk formula. In such cases, pediatricians recommend a mixture of soy-based.
* Special mix - If the child is born prematurely, with congenital metabolic disorders or diseases, then he may need a special mix designed specifically for these cases.

The mixtures are produced in several forms. Some more convenient, but other less expensive.

* Ready-to-eat mixes - the most expensive, but at the same time the most convenient and easy to use. Sold in sterile 4 or 8-ounce disposable bottles (120 and 240 ml). It remains to wear a sterile bottle and you can feed the baby.
* Ready-to-transfusion - This liquid mixtures, which are sold in metal cans of various sizes. Enough to pour them into a sterile bottle and put a sterile nipple.
* In the form of concentrate or powder - This is the cheapest of the mixture. May be both liquid and powder form. Sold in packages or banks, calculated on one feeding. We must take a sterile bottle, dilute the concentrate or powder with boiled water, then put on a sterile nipple. If you are using a mixture of this type, carefully measure out the amount of concentrate and water, so your child gets the right amount of nutrients.

Remains of ready mix can be stored in the refrigerator no longer than 24 hours.

How best to heat the mixture?

Most infants safely drink the mixture at room temperature. If your child prefers a warm mixture, heat it under running hot water. To check the temperature, can be sprinkled a few drops on your wrist. Do not use a microwave oven, because liquid in it is heated unevenly (bottle may seem warm, but the liquid inside obzhzhet baby's mouth and throat).

Which bottles and nipples to use?

There are three types of bottles: glass, plastic and plastic with removable disposable bags. Glass bottles are very durable, but they are heavier than plastic and easy to beat. Plastic bottles strong enough and weigh less. Bottles with removable Disposable bags are very convenient, because Packages do not need to sterilize. But these sets are quite expensive.

As for the nipple, they are made of latex or silicone. Nipple should be changed every 3 months. The older the child, the greater must be the hole in the nipple.

How to sterilize nipples and bottles?

Bottles and teats should be clean, so they should be sterilized. If your house is chlorinated water, just put baby accessories in the dishwasher or wash with washing-up liquid, then rinse under running hot water from the tap.

If chlorinated water is not, then boil bottles and nipples in a large saucepan for 5-10 minutes.

How to feed a baby?

Feeding time - usually a pleasant time for the one who feeds the baby, and for the child. Here are some tips that will help you to organize this process:

* Do not forget to wash your hands.
* Choose a quiet place, and that the child is not distracted.
* If the child is not very hungry before feeding diapering. Baby will be comfortable in a clean and dry diapers.
* Take a comfortable position, put a pillow under his back.
* If the child is naughty, before giving a bottle, try to calm him down. If the baby cries during feeding or not to worry, after the meal he could ill stomach.
* Gently embracing the child, feeding - the perfect time to touch express his love.
* When your child drink about half of the mixture, take a break. Let the child srygnet air that could accumulate in his tummy. Take breaks for regurgitation after every 50-60 ml of drinking a mixture.
Rx Idaho